Jennifer:
So starting off I just wanna say that the reason we haven't written in awhile is because of some big changes in both of our lives. My family and I recently had to move from California to Florida because my husband got new orders. I will allow Jamie to explain her family changes if she so chooses. So because we moved obviosly Jamie and I no longer live in the same state! I miss my friend dearly but now that things have settled would like to continue to blog.
The topic this time is single parenting. I know that I am married therefore not a single parent in the traditional sense, but this new duty station will require me to be parenting alone most of the time. My husband now has many new responsibilities and will not be home very often. I have mixed feelings about the upcoming challanges I will surely have to face.
The biggest challenge I am sure will be finding time for myself. As a stay at home mom I barely get time for myself anyways. Having the kids all day and then giving my husband time to decompress when he comes home leaves little to no time for me as it is. So what will I do when he doesn't even come home? On top of that I am used to my hubby doing things around the house to help me. Who will distract my daughter so that I can prepare dinner? Who is gonna help my son with his homework while I finish the laundry?
Another thing I think I am gonna have a HUGE problem with is a case of the it's not fairs!! I am gonna try to prevent it but it's kinda hard not to feel some resentment when you are married and still have to be a single parent!! I know, I know I choose to be a military spouse and I love it most of the time. It's just kinda hard to be thrilled about it when your baby won't stop crying and your other kid won't stop talking. Your just sitting there numbly thinking if my husband does not walk through that door RIGHT NOW and help me I think I am going to lose my mind!! Other times it's not so bad. I can do things how I want to on my schedule and not have to worry about any complaints. These are just a few things that I have discoevered to be a problem so far. I am sure I will run into more!
Long ago and far away I actually was a single parent to my son. It was a lot easier then. I have grow accustomed to having my husband around. It is taking awhile for me to get accustomed to this new life. Add on top of that the lack of family and friends here and it just makes things harder. I hope that I don't go completely insane in the next three years!! Hopefully the next duty station will be a little easier.
Jamie:
Ok so where to begin... well it's been quite a while since Ive even had a moment long enough to sit down let alone blog. The past 6 months have been completely life changing for me. My husband I have been going through a really rough patch in our marriage, and I really mean rough. I'm not going to get into particulars on that subject all you need to know is he has been absent in mine and my kids life for the last 6 months. So on that note I have assumed the role of being a single mom, all but the financial aspect. I will say that I had no idea what it was like for single moms and still to a degree don't because I don't work and have to solely support my children on my own.
It's hard having to take care of the kids all day and know that there is no relief coming at the end of the day. There have been times that ive broken down and cried only to have my oldest son say mommy don't cry. It really tears me up inside when I really think about what they must be going through. Ive lost my patience with them on numerous occasions over really nothing just needing a moment of silence and not being able to get it. It makes me wonder why before I didn't think that going to the grocery store alone was a break. Now it's a miracle if I can find someone willing to watch my kids so I can go to the dentist. I have a whole new outlook on time alone and how to really enjoy it. I will say this that through it all I feel like Ive grown as a person so much and have found a person I never knew I could be. I no longer shutter at the thought of taking the kids out alone even when you have a mishap and end up in the emergency room. Yes that did happen! I decided to take the kids to go feed the ducks, Chloe fell in the lake I ran to get her slipped and fell on my arm. I thought for sure I had broken it. It was swollen and hurt like a bitch. Finally I managed to drag myself and my daughter out of the lake and my oldest goes in. What fun. So again I'm fishing a child out of the lake. We get up safely away from the water and at this point is when the pain and realization that I'm alone with three kids at a lake sets in. Holy Shit what am I going to do right?! So Jenn to the rescue, I call her and she comes drives me to the hospital. Luckily it didn't break it's was just hyper extended. Lesson to self never take your children to a lake alone!! I am glad for all the lessons I have learned through this time in my life and to all you single moms out there my hat goes off to you.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Motherhood: Is it Really the Death of all That is Me?
Jenn:
I have often wondered since becoming a mother who am I now? Is a mother all I am? Did I completely forfeit my identity when my son slide down the birth canal? Sometimes I think I did, other days I can actually find myself under the laundry, dishes, and dirty diapers. I love my children, and honestly don't know where I would be without them. With them though I honestly don't know who I am sometimes. I know I like to read and listen to music,but I don't know if I can have a conversation without mentioning my kids. When I have free time I don't know what to do with myself anymore. Perfect example: recently my friend and I had a few errands to run at the mall. Our significant others were watching the kids so we decided to go out for a drink when we were done at the mall. So as we are walking to the car we are trying to figure out which bar to go to. It was then that we both realized that we had no idea where to go!! I actually had to call my brother(2 years younger and no kids!) to find a good bar! To me this is kinda sad. To realize that I am so defined by my children, husband, and home that I no longer know how to have a good time! I cherish my children but I am starting to feel that I need to make more of an effort being just me.It is very hard for me to do this a lot of the time. When my children leave, which won't be for awhile, what am I going to do with myself? I have only been a mother for 9 years. If I have so completely lost myself already I am gonna be a mess when I am done raising them. How do I just be myself without being a wife, mother, and homemaker? Maybe I will just become a cat lady!!
I have often wondered since becoming a mother who am I now? Is a mother all I am? Did I completely forfeit my identity when my son slide down the birth canal? Sometimes I think I did, other days I can actually find myself under the laundry, dishes, and dirty diapers. I love my children, and honestly don't know where I would be without them. With them though I honestly don't know who I am sometimes. I know I like to read and listen to music,but I don't know if I can have a conversation without mentioning my kids. When I have free time I don't know what to do with myself anymore. Perfect example: recently my friend and I had a few errands to run at the mall. Our significant others were watching the kids so we decided to go out for a drink when we were done at the mall. So as we are walking to the car we are trying to figure out which bar to go to. It was then that we both realized that we had no idea where to go!! I actually had to call my brother(2 years younger and no kids!) to find a good bar! To me this is kinda sad. To realize that I am so defined by my children, husband, and home that I no longer know how to have a good time! I cherish my children but I am starting to feel that I need to make more of an effort being just me.It is very hard for me to do this a lot of the time. When my children leave, which won't be for awhile, what am I going to do with myself? I have only been a mother for 9 years. If I have so completely lost myself already I am gonna be a mess when I am done raising them. How do I just be myself without being a wife, mother, and homemaker? Maybe I will just become a cat lady!!
Jamie:
It's really sad when I think of this topic, I do love my children and all the joy that they bring to my life, but sometimes I feel like they killed "Jamie". I look back to me pre-children and remember actually having a style and clothes that fit. Now I'm between pre-pregnancy and pregnancy clothes. Half the time I'm in work out clothing. It's sad really that I actually wear maternity tops and think they look good. I used to take time for myself and get ready in the morning. Now I'm lucky if i can brush my hair and teeth before noon. I miss having time for me. Sometimes I will call my mom to vent about not having any time to myself and she tells me that I can get time when my kids are grown. I find that to be truly unfair, and I know life is unfair but it's not right that I give and give and give and none of it goes to me. I feel lost and am trying now to take a few extra moments to myself in the morning to do my make up, and brush my hair. I'm suprised at how much better my mood is when I do this. It took almost 4 years for this realization to hit me, "you mean to tell me that my name isn't mama, that I have another identity?" For so long now I barely even looked in the mirror and went a couple days without showering and didn't even realize it! Thats when I realized that I needed some serious nuturing, from myself. I don't want to have that empty nest feeling when my kids leave and wonder who I am and what I like to do. So I'm working on that now and hopefully in a few years I'll have a pretty good idea of who I am.
Monday, February 7, 2011
The Easy Way Out?
Jenn:
As a parent we have many choices to make regarding our children. How they will be raised,what to feed them, schools they will go to, and the list goes on. Of the choices we make some of the hardest are the ones that test our patience. Kids test us nearly everyday, wanting candy instead of food, wanting to play video games instead of pick up after themselves, the list could go on forever. Basically we want them to do one thing and they have their own ideas! The problem with this is we have to choose all the time whether we are going to be the parent that never lets them get away with anything, or the parent that gives in all the time. All to often due to begging, whining, asking repeatedly, and crying we give in. As a parent myself I can tell you I have given in a lot! Mostly with my son and most of the time just so I can have some piece and quite. With my daughter I have been different I have tried so far to not give in as much. It is a mistake (well maybe not a mistake depending on your views) that most parents make. Taking the easy way out. Giving in when we should hold our ground. Sometimes it's okay, but most of the time from my experience when we give in it just teaches our children how to push our buttons. Trust me they learn quickly and they can sense weakness! After they learn how to get what they want it gets even harder to stick to your guns. They pour it on thick and before you know it they have gotten what they want. I guess the point that I am trying to make is even when your children are babies it's important to hold your ground. From a young age they should know your stance so that when they get my son's age you don't have an even bigger problem. I don't think there is an easy way out. Once they learn what buttons to push the momentary silence a Popsicle gives you will not be worth it.
Jamie:
This is a great topic for me right now. My husband recently has left for the field doing pre-deployment training. It seems that since he left my children have gotten significantly more cranky and test my patience more so then they have in the past. Last week my cell phone stopped working, so I decided to take a trip to the store to see what was wrong with it and had to drop it off for an hour while they worked on the problem. While I was there, Colin was running around the store like a mad man and I ended up putting him in timeout in the corner of their store. I got some pretty horrible looks, which I don't really care about because I'd rather stop horrible behavior than condone it. Anyway, when we were leaving Colin started whining and bellyaching for a hamburger and juice. I knew that he was hungry it was lunch time and I told him sure you can have a hamburger but no juice until you get home. I say that because if I give him something to drink he won't eat his food. So I stopped and picked up all the kids a burger. When I got home and was unloading everybody I noticed that the burger that was such a huge deal was completely untouched. Colin of course wanted juice when he got home, but I explained that he could not have juice until he ate the burger. He decided to take a nap. OK, so I said he would have the burger for dinner. Dinner comes does he eat the burger, NO, he went to bed without dinner or juice. Then next day I fed him breakfast, at lunch time I told him that he had to eat the burger or no juice. Needless to say he didn't eat it. He never did, but I stuck to my guns and kept trying. I just don't want to feed him a burger that in my opinion was bad after 2 days of this horrible battle. But my lesson out of this is I will not give in to crying in public or at home. If I give him something to eat he needs to eat it or he does not reap the benefits of something sweet like juice. I do agree with Jenn, giving in is really not the best thing to do. I am guilty of it more often than not and am really working on it, especially now that I am getting ready to be a single parent for 7 months. I don't want my children to think that if they press me enough that eventually I will give in. It is really frustrating and at times it is really tempting just to shut them up and give in, but that is showing them that they can wear me down. I don't know how I'm going to do it yet and can't guarantee that I'll be 100% successful, but I'm going to do my best. I'll do an update in a few months and let you all know my progress if I've gotten any better or not. But for now wish me luck.
Jamie:
This is a great topic for me right now. My husband recently has left for the field doing pre-deployment training. It seems that since he left my children have gotten significantly more cranky and test my patience more so then they have in the past. Last week my cell phone stopped working, so I decided to take a trip to the store to see what was wrong with it and had to drop it off for an hour while they worked on the problem. While I was there, Colin was running around the store like a mad man and I ended up putting him in timeout in the corner of their store. I got some pretty horrible looks, which I don't really care about because I'd rather stop horrible behavior than condone it. Anyway, when we were leaving Colin started whining and bellyaching for a hamburger and juice. I knew that he was hungry it was lunch time and I told him sure you can have a hamburger but no juice until you get home. I say that because if I give him something to drink he won't eat his food. So I stopped and picked up all the kids a burger. When I got home and was unloading everybody I noticed that the burger that was such a huge deal was completely untouched. Colin of course wanted juice when he got home, but I explained that he could not have juice until he ate the burger. He decided to take a nap. OK, so I said he would have the burger for dinner. Dinner comes does he eat the burger, NO, he went to bed without dinner or juice. Then next day I fed him breakfast, at lunch time I told him that he had to eat the burger or no juice. Needless to say he didn't eat it. He never did, but I stuck to my guns and kept trying. I just don't want to feed him a burger that in my opinion was bad after 2 days of this horrible battle. But my lesson out of this is I will not give in to crying in public or at home. If I give him something to eat he needs to eat it or he does not reap the benefits of something sweet like juice. I do agree with Jenn, giving in is really not the best thing to do. I am guilty of it more often than not and am really working on it, especially now that I am getting ready to be a single parent for 7 months. I don't want my children to think that if they press me enough that eventually I will give in. It is really frustrating and at times it is really tempting just to shut them up and give in, but that is showing them that they can wear me down. I don't know how I'm going to do it yet and can't guarantee that I'll be 100% successful, but I'm going to do my best. I'll do an update in a few months and let you all know my progress if I've gotten any better or not. But for now wish me luck.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Baby Gear Much Like New Cars Depreciate In Value Almost Immediately
Jenn:
When I was pregnant with my son I could not afford to buy new baby items. His crib was hand me down, stroller, car seat, and clothing bought at yard sales. There is nothing wrong with this. It didn't mean I loved him less or was incapable of caring for him properly. I just couldn't afford brand new things. Ten years later and better off financially, I wanted new things for my daughter. So off we went to Babies " R" Us to shop. We agreed upon a travel system, swing, and play pen that I loved. I couldn't wait for my baby girl to be born to make use of her things.Growing up poor, it gave my husband and I a great sense of pride to buy Katherine new things.I had the intention of reselling her things when she grew out of them. I made sure they were kept clean and well taken care of. I even kept the instruction manuals. Because I took good care of her things they still look brand new. There are a few marks here and there, but over all they look great.
Recently I took her swing, travel system, a baby gym toy and a baby monitor with 2 handsets still in it's box with all the pieces to a resale shop. This shop will buy "gently used" items from parents and either give you a check or store credit. I was looking to get a check since most of the things in the store were not my idea of "gently used" and for used things overpriced. Since my things were in such good condition and many of the items in the store had sun damage or stains I thought I would receive a pretty good offer. So I packed up all my stuff and off I went.
Now I am not an unreasonable person. I knew I was not gonna get as much as I spent. I expected at least 140 dollars for the items I took in. They offered me 80. Now I know they are a business and have to make a profit off the things they buy. But 80 dollars for 4 items that combined I paid about 380 for!!!!! Needless to say I was a little miffed. After packing all my stuff up, and waiting around for an hour for them to make me an offer I was less then pleased.
I declined their offer and asked for my things back. They told me they simply couldn't offer me anymore. I was in disbelief. As I had previously mentioned a lot of the things in their store where not in good condition, and overpriced. I felt they were attempting to rip me off! I mean really you want to buy my swing for 20 bucks and sell it for 55? They told me I should try craigslist. I now have my stuff listed on craigslist, and already had offers! Hopefully it sells pretty fast as I don't want it in my garage forever.
This whole experience has been a lesson to me. People are never gonna pay you what you think something is worth. I have my travel system listed for 80 dollars. Because I payed so much for it and it is less then 2 years old I feel it is worth 150. Being as I am sensible I do realize no one is gonna pay that much for it. I wish they would though!!
I am glad that we could buy Kat all new things. Had I known we would have this issue selling her stuff I would have just bought used.
Jamie:
Looking back at when I was pregnant with my first born, I had the idea to buy everything new. But taking one look at the price for a crib I quicky decided that buying new was not an option for me. Being on a military budget does not permit buying a $300 crib and $200 bed set, unless you want to go into debt. So for me I have for the most part bought used, except for things such as socks, underwear, pacis, bottles, and pj's. I don't see the point if your kid is only going to use it for less than a year and you definatly will not get your money back. If you have the money and want to spoil your child Great!
Jenn and I went into Gymboree the other day, and I really hate going in those stores. The clothes are soooo expensive, but oh gosh they're adorable. I do wish that I could afford to buy them, especially because I can find matching outfits for the twins. It's near impossible to do that with boy girl clothes. But alas I can not do it due to the fact that they'll grow out of it in less than a year. Maybe when they're older for like the first day of school or something. Not now, not while Andrew is a pig and ruins all his clothes. My advice is to garage sale go online and look for deals, kids cost enough without buying them the best of the best baby things. Also be sure to have one hell of a babyshower, people love to buy baby things, they're irresistable. And finally keep a level head and ask yourself will it be worth it to my pocket book in the end, do I want my baby to have cute things or straight teeth later when they need braces, which by the way run about $4000 a mouth (that's $12,000 for me!)
When I was pregnant with my son I could not afford to buy new baby items. His crib was hand me down, stroller, car seat, and clothing bought at yard sales. There is nothing wrong with this. It didn't mean I loved him less or was incapable of caring for him properly. I just couldn't afford brand new things. Ten years later and better off financially, I wanted new things for my daughter. So off we went to Babies " R" Us to shop. We agreed upon a travel system, swing, and play pen that I loved. I couldn't wait for my baby girl to be born to make use of her things.Growing up poor, it gave my husband and I a great sense of pride to buy Katherine new things.I had the intention of reselling her things when she grew out of them. I made sure they were kept clean and well taken care of. I even kept the instruction manuals. Because I took good care of her things they still look brand new. There are a few marks here and there, but over all they look great.
 |
Recently I took her swing, travel system, a baby gym toy and a baby monitor with 2 handsets still in it's box with all the pieces to a resale shop. This shop will buy "gently used" items from parents and either give you a check or store credit. I was looking to get a check since most of the things in the store were not my idea of "gently used" and for used things overpriced. Since my things were in such good condition and many of the items in the store had sun damage or stains I thought I would receive a pretty good offer. So I packed up all my stuff and off I went.
Now I am not an unreasonable person. I knew I was not gonna get as much as I spent. I expected at least 140 dollars for the items I took in. They offered me 80. Now I know they are a business and have to make a profit off the things they buy. But 80 dollars for 4 items that combined I paid about 380 for!!!!! Needless to say I was a little miffed. After packing all my stuff up, and waiting around for an hour for them to make me an offer I was less then pleased.
I declined their offer and asked for my things back. They told me they simply couldn't offer me anymore. I was in disbelief. As I had previously mentioned a lot of the things in their store where not in good condition, and overpriced. I felt they were attempting to rip me off! I mean really you want to buy my swing for 20 bucks and sell it for 55? They told me I should try craigslist. I now have my stuff listed on craigslist, and already had offers! Hopefully it sells pretty fast as I don't want it in my garage forever.
This whole experience has been a lesson to me. People are never gonna pay you what you think something is worth. I have my travel system listed for 80 dollars. Because I payed so much for it and it is less then 2 years old I feel it is worth 150. Being as I am sensible I do realize no one is gonna pay that much for it. I wish they would though!!
I am glad that we could buy Kat all new things. Had I known we would have this issue selling her stuff I would have just bought used.
Jamie:
Looking back at when I was pregnant with my first born, I had the idea to buy everything new. But taking one look at the price for a crib I quicky decided that buying new was not an option for me. Being on a military budget does not permit buying a $300 crib and $200 bed set, unless you want to go into debt. So for me I have for the most part bought used, except for things such as socks, underwear, pacis, bottles, and pj's. I don't see the point if your kid is only going to use it for less than a year and you definatly will not get your money back. If you have the money and want to spoil your child Great!
Jenn and I went into Gymboree the other day, and I really hate going in those stores. The clothes are soooo expensive, but oh gosh they're adorable. I do wish that I could afford to buy them, especially because I can find matching outfits for the twins. It's near impossible to do that with boy girl clothes. But alas I can not do it due to the fact that they'll grow out of it in less than a year. Maybe when they're older for like the first day of school or something. Not now, not while Andrew is a pig and ruins all his clothes. My advice is to garage sale go online and look for deals, kids cost enough without buying them the best of the best baby things. Also be sure to have one hell of a babyshower, people love to buy baby things, they're irresistable. And finally keep a level head and ask yourself will it be worth it to my pocket book in the end, do I want my baby to have cute things or straight teeth later when they need braces, which by the way run about $4000 a mouth (that's $12,000 for me!)
Friday, January 7, 2011
Why?
Jenn:
Jamie and I were having a conversation today about my daughters year old check-up. I was asking her if it was normal that Kat hasn't said her first word yet. I was concerned because at her appointment her doctor had given me a pamphlet with information on where she should be developmentally. According to said pamphlet Kat should be saying 3 words other then mama or dada at this age. She doesn't. She rarely says mama, usually saves it for when shes upset. Hardly ever says dada. She babbles a lot makes lots of noise, yells. But doesn't really talk. So now of course I am concerned because maybe something is wrong! Do I not talk to her enough? Is there more we could be doing to encourage speech? Well I talk to her all the time,and try to get her to repeat me. She has talking toys and I read to her. For all intents and purposes she should be hearing enough words to carry on full conversations by now!! I think the more important question should be: Why am I worried so much because of a piece of paper? Also why does her doctor not address my concerns? Instead the doctor usually gives me more to worry about!! Example: during the appointment she asked if we had given Kat milk yet. I said yes we had given her some 1% because that was what was in the house. My doctor looked at me like I was trying to hurt my child and told me to give her formula until I got some whole milk for her. I was taken aback by this reaction because correct me if I am wrong, but aren't they the same with the exception of fat content? Now I know she's a growing girl and needs the extra fat. But I really didn't think a week of 1% was that detrimental to her development. Who knows maybe that's why she isn't talking yet!!!!! After discussing all this Jamie and I realized that all these pressures doctors and society put on parents is the reason we started this blog. The last baby I had before Kat was 9 years ago. So while I am not new to motherhood I can tell you it's A LOT different now then it was back then! The pressure new mothers or just parents in general are under is ridiculous nowadays. It's no wonder so many parents are stressed out! With the news,doctors,friends,family,the Internet,and pamphlets telling us we are raising our kids wrong we have no choice! It honestly makes me wonder how the human race survived this long. I mean how did our ancestors over come drinking unpasturized cow milk if my baby can't even drink 1%? How have we gone from eating mud pies to practically dosing everything in Lysol? I understand that as humans we are constantly evolving, but I think maybe we need to relax some. I am sure our children not talking right when they hit a year or drinking 1% milk won't be the end of the world!
Jamie:
It really get to me how much pressure is put on us as parents that our children have to fit this "standard" that society has deemed "normal", and if we waver a little then we feel inadequate. It's really frusterating. I have been running into a lot of problems with the head start program. They interfere way too much and sometimes I question whether or not I want to keep the twins in the program. Last week I was supposed to have a home visit where the kids teacher comes and we have a lesson plan sort of. Well she called and told me she wasn't able to come due to the fact that Chloe's last hemo level read too low. So I had to take her to get her blood drawn, which I had done 6 months ago I just forgot to call and get the results. I think it's overstepping to have me take my 18 month old at the time to have her blood drawn when her hemo levels were .5 under the norm.
There have been times when I have questioned whether or not my child was in fact up to "normal" standards, so much so that I have taken Colin to be evaluated for speech twice! And both times I was told he was doing just fine, but according to reading material I get from the dr. he isn't where he should be! It's just tiring. I think we should let kids develop at there own stage and take the pressure off of how well he's counting or if she's getting the right kind of milk. Kids need to be kids, it's no wonder we end up feeling like we're never good enough. It's engraned in us at an early age. All I know is I do the best that I can as a parent, and my kids are all unique and will develop on Their own schedule and time.
Jamie and I were having a conversation today about my daughters year old check-up. I was asking her if it was normal that Kat hasn't said her first word yet. I was concerned because at her appointment her doctor had given me a pamphlet with information on where she should be developmentally. According to said pamphlet Kat should be saying 3 words other then mama or dada at this age. She doesn't. She rarely says mama, usually saves it for when shes upset. Hardly ever says dada. She babbles a lot makes lots of noise, yells. But doesn't really talk. So now of course I am concerned because maybe something is wrong! Do I not talk to her enough? Is there more we could be doing to encourage speech? Well I talk to her all the time,and try to get her to repeat me. She has talking toys and I read to her. For all intents and purposes she should be hearing enough words to carry on full conversations by now!! I think the more important question should be: Why am I worried so much because of a piece of paper? Also why does her doctor not address my concerns? Instead the doctor usually gives me more to worry about!! Example: during the appointment she asked if we had given Kat milk yet. I said yes we had given her some 1% because that was what was in the house. My doctor looked at me like I was trying to hurt my child and told me to give her formula until I got some whole milk for her. I was taken aback by this reaction because correct me if I am wrong, but aren't they the same with the exception of fat content? Now I know she's a growing girl and needs the extra fat. But I really didn't think a week of 1% was that detrimental to her development. Who knows maybe that's why she isn't talking yet!!!!! After discussing all this Jamie and I realized that all these pressures doctors and society put on parents is the reason we started this blog. The last baby I had before Kat was 9 years ago. So while I am not new to motherhood I can tell you it's A LOT different now then it was back then! The pressure new mothers or just parents in general are under is ridiculous nowadays. It's no wonder so many parents are stressed out! With the news,doctors,friends,family,the Internet,and pamphlets telling us we are raising our kids wrong we have no choice! It honestly makes me wonder how the human race survived this long. I mean how did our ancestors over come drinking unpasturized cow milk if my baby can't even drink 1%? How have we gone from eating mud pies to practically dosing everything in Lysol? I understand that as humans we are constantly evolving, but I think maybe we need to relax some. I am sure our children not talking right when they hit a year or drinking 1% milk won't be the end of the world!
Jamie:
It really get to me how much pressure is put on us as parents that our children have to fit this "standard" that society has deemed "normal", and if we waver a little then we feel inadequate. It's really frusterating. I have been running into a lot of problems with the head start program. They interfere way too much and sometimes I question whether or not I want to keep the twins in the program. Last week I was supposed to have a home visit where the kids teacher comes and we have a lesson plan sort of. Well she called and told me she wasn't able to come due to the fact that Chloe's last hemo level read too low. So I had to take her to get her blood drawn, which I had done 6 months ago I just forgot to call and get the results. I think it's overstepping to have me take my 18 month old at the time to have her blood drawn when her hemo levels were .5 under the norm.
There have been times when I have questioned whether or not my child was in fact up to "normal" standards, so much so that I have taken Colin to be evaluated for speech twice! And both times I was told he was doing just fine, but according to reading material I get from the dr. he isn't where he should be! It's just tiring. I think we should let kids develop at there own stage and take the pressure off of how well he's counting or if she's getting the right kind of milk. Kids need to be kids, it's no wonder we end up feeling like we're never good enough. It's engraned in us at an early age. All I know is I do the best that I can as a parent, and my kids are all unique and will develop on Their own schedule and time.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
New Years Thoughts
Jenn:
I hope you all had happy and warm holidays. I had to work today on New Years Day. It was good and bad. Good because I had plenty of time to think up this post, bad because well it was work! I was thinking today that I don't really like New Years resolutions. The reason why is I don't like feeling as though I have an obligation to change something about me or my life before the next year. It's kinda like I am rebelling against myself. I understand wanting to have resolutions for the New Year. New Year new start and all that. They just don't work for me! So that's why I have decided to have goals for the new year. Now I know what you may be thinking a goal and a resolution are the same thing. I don't feel that they are. To me a goal is more flexible.If you don't complete your goal no biggie you just set a new one. You don't follow through with your resolution then bad things can happen!!! At least that's how it works in my head. Now that I have given you that knowledge, maybe you can understand why I don't like starting off my year by resolving to do things I may not be able to do. My family and I have made some goals. I will share them with you now.
Goal # 1
We are going to try to get our finances under control. This will be hard considering that I feel you should be able to have some fun with your money. You work all week get a paycheck that all goes to bills that's no fun. So I have a bad habit of overspending sometimes. Also I have a bad habit of always thinking oh well we will get paid again and justifying a little splurging. We are setting a goal to get a better handle on our debt.
Goal #2
I feel like losing 2 pounds a week is obtainable goal. That is my personal goal and will also help with goal #1 as we will not be eating out as much.
Well those are the 2 main goals. I have smaller ones such as starting scrapbooks for both my kids, keeping my desk cleaned off, making life less hectic, and keeping a cleaner house. I shall now leave you to your resolutions or goals. I hope you all had wonderful starts to your new year!
I hope you all had happy and warm holidays. I had to work today on New Years Day. It was good and bad. Good because I had plenty of time to think up this post, bad because well it was work! I was thinking today that I don't really like New Years resolutions. The reason why is I don't like feeling as though I have an obligation to change something about me or my life before the next year. It's kinda like I am rebelling against myself. I understand wanting to have resolutions for the New Year. New Year new start and all that. They just don't work for me! So that's why I have decided to have goals for the new year. Now I know what you may be thinking a goal and a resolution are the same thing. I don't feel that they are. To me a goal is more flexible.If you don't complete your goal no biggie you just set a new one. You don't follow through with your resolution then bad things can happen!!! At least that's how it works in my head. Now that I have given you that knowledge, maybe you can understand why I don't like starting off my year by resolving to do things I may not be able to do. My family and I have made some goals. I will share them with you now.
Goal # 1
We are going to try to get our finances under control. This will be hard considering that I feel you should be able to have some fun with your money. You work all week get a paycheck that all goes to bills that's no fun. So I have a bad habit of overspending sometimes. Also I have a bad habit of always thinking oh well we will get paid again and justifying a little splurging. We are setting a goal to get a better handle on our debt.
Goal #2
I feel like losing 2 pounds a week is obtainable goal. That is my personal goal and will also help with goal #1 as we will not be eating out as much.
Well those are the 2 main goals. I have smaller ones such as starting scrapbooks for both my kids, keeping my desk cleaned off, making life less hectic, and keeping a cleaner house. I shall now leave you to your resolutions or goals. I hope you all had wonderful starts to your new year!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Happy New Year! Well almost.
aThese last few weeks have just been chaotic. We left for our family vacation last sunday the 19th, and the trip started out really well considering we planned to leave at six in the morning and didn't end up getting out the door until nine. But hey lets face it with kids you're usually running behind schedule. So we started the first leg of our journey to the Grand Canyon. Our first official stop was in barstow at the marine corps base out there. It was very desolate and we even saw some tumble weeds roll on by. The wind was so strong that it knocked Chloe on her butt. We stayed there for a bit and resumed our first day to Las Vegas.
Let me just tell you that I'm not really for the whole vegas scene. I don't gamble and the place just gives me horrible vibes. Anyway, so the grand plan was to go to a really good buffet. I figure, hey I take the kids with Jenn all the time to a resturant, what's the big deal with taking them out to a buffet. Well let me tell you what's wrong with taking three kids to a buffet in Las Vegas. We get there, and get the kids situated with their food and drink. I am sitting with the kids while Sean goes to get his plate, and after Andrew chugged his lemonade he promptly vomits all over himself. I tried my best to catch as much of it as I could with the napkin. Of course I forgot to bring the kids a change of clothes, and it's not like we could just leave we paid $80 for the meal! So, Sean comes back and as soon as I get ready to take my first bite of food after cleaning up Andrew as much as I could, Chloe poops up her back. Luckily only getting on her back and a little on her pants. I go to take her to the bathroom and there is a group of tourists taking a photo blocking the exit, finally they move and I can proceed to the bathroom which is lacking a changing station. So I changed her on the sink, the rest of the dinner was alright considering how much we spent. So the next time you're thinking of going to a buffet with small children remember that disasters happen usually when you're left alone.
The next morning, Colin threw up in his bed around 3, and I was up at 7 sick myself throwing up and diahrea. What a way to start off our trip! That day we continued on to the grand canyon! We stopped at the Hoover Dam. It was really neat, had never been there before. The wind was crazy strong and oh my gosh was it cold! The kids were fussy so we didn't stay there too long. I don't blame them I was cold and couldn't wait to get back in the car. We checked into our hotel that night and had some jacuzzi time. AHHHH, relaxation! The next day was our day at the grand canyon! It was so spectacular, photos don't do it justice! It was a lot of fun and we met some cool people there. The storm came in that afternoon, it had been a little behind us the entire trip. San Diego and the base were flooded, Las Vegas strip was flooding from what I heard. I'm glad to have missed all that weather. So we saw some snow and the clouds blocked the view. But we were able to see it more the next day after it cleared up.
The next day we went to my dear old friend Ashley's house. I got to meet her son, Fiance and hairless cat! Those things are so strange, but friendly. We spent the night there and hung out the next day took the kids to the park and just let them have a kid day. Then I bathed them loaded them up and we made the last leg of our journey, HOME! I will say that it's not such a good idea driving at night. Sure the kids are sleeping but it's sooo hard to stay awake for a 6 hour drive! Luckily we made it home around 4 am, and I just dropped my head in the pillow and fell asleep.
Overall it was a really wonderful trip, I'm glad to have had this time with my family. I will forever remeber this trip and smile. Now that 2010 is almost over, I'm looking forward to 2011 and hoping it will be just as fun and productive. May you all have had a happy holiday, and be safe in the new year!! Happy Holidays
&
Happy New Year!!
Monday, December 20, 2010
So Many Reasons to Be Happy!!
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| Our Family |
1. Christmas lights!! I love Christmas lights. Big display, small display it doesn't matter. I makes me extremely joyful to drive down the road and see them.
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| Kat hanging her ornament. |
3. One word: COOKIES!!!!!
4. Going to great lengths to surprise my husband. He is a present shaker and tries to guess what he is getting. This steals my joy cause then I don't get to see his happy face when he opens it. So now I find joy in wrapping his presents so that there is no possible way he can guess what is in them! How is he gonna know it's a movie when it's wrapped in a box with rice, pennies.and rocks. Take that present shaker!!!!!
5. Cookie caravan. Every year after baking ridiculous amounts of cookies my family, friends and I deliver them to police stations, fire stations,and hospitals on Christmas eve.
6.Armed Services YMCA. Every year they provide Christmas presents to at least 300 military families.
7. My daughter trying to learn to walk and dance to Christmas music. I am an experienced walker and I cannot walk and dance at the same time!!
8.Family coming over for Christmas dinner. We don't have much family here so it's nice when we can all gather together.
9. Presents!!!!!!!!!! Not necessarily for me. I love seeing the excitement on my families faces when they open their gifts.
10. Kat's first birthday! My baby is almost one!!
11. School Christmas shows. I love seeing my son in an elf hat.
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| School Christmas Concert |
13. My birthday. I have a complex cause my birthday is 3 days before Christmas. It gets forgotten a lot. I tell complete strangers it's my birthday so they will tell me happy birthday!
14. Christmas music
Well there it is my list of Christmas joy. I am sure I forgot some things. Overall this is a season for joy, family, and sharing. I wish you and yours all the joy and happiness of this season.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
'Tis the Season......... I guess
Jenn:
First let me start saying that I love Christmas and the meaning behind it. It's just nowadays I can't help but be disgusted by people's behavior during the holidays! I have been run into, harassed by mall employees, and have even seen two people get out of their cars to ARGUE over a PARKING SPACE!!!!! All that I can kinda ignore and still try to teach my children better manners. The biggest problem I have had every year since being a military spouse is our battalions Christmas party. Let me explain. I volunteer with the battalion as a Family Readiness Assistant therefore I am involved in the planning of this party every year. The other volunteers and I spend time decorating, arranging for a Santa, and coordinating with a charity ( Words of Comfort, Hope, and Promise ran by Ms. Cynthia Martinez who is wonderful by the way!!) who has adopted our battalion. Usually the charity provides us with gifts for the Marines and there families and a dinner. Sometimes since they do sponsor other units they can only provide toys for the kids. This is no problem for most people, but this is where my irritation comes in. Every year while eating amongst the families of the battalion( most who don't know that I am a volunteer) I hear complaints about the gifts they got. On top of the complaints about the gifts not being good enough, my kids get trampled and shoved out of the way to get to the gifts people deem as cheap. Furthermore while eating the meal provided for us for free my family and I get to listen to the charming conversations ( I am being sarcastic here) of the single Marines. The whole experience is just very frustrating. Why can't people just appreciate the things given to them? Why do they have such a sense of entitlement? Why don't they know how to behave in public? I am thankful that the battalion my husband is in cares enough about the families to even throw a Christmas party!! Let alone provide food a Santa and gifts for my children all for free!!! Apparently this is not good enough for some people though. It makes me sad that very few people are actually happy that they were thought of. There doesn't have to be an organization that provides gifts to us. These volunteers are providing us with these things because they truly are thankful for what the military does not because they are obligated too. Its is sickening to me that so many people are unappreciative. In this world we live in where so many people are down on the military it is heartwarming when people actually go out of their way to help us. Cynthia Martinez is not a military spouse. Neither are many of the people that volunteer with her organization. They are just thankful of the service our loved ones provide. So if they give me anything even just a simple thank you it warms my heart. They don't have to. I may not go to the Christmas party this year. It gets harder every year to hold my tongue around ungrateful people. The only reason I will go is because there are always people every year who actually do appreciate the things given to them.
Jamie:
This season really is one of those that makes you question what peoples real intentions are. For the most part what I see is people trying to keep up with the "Jones'". It's a bit ridiculous that it is expected to spend a obscene amount of money on gifts for people that you hardly ever see and half the time either don't appreciate it or like it. My mother in-law has stopped doing Christmas because she used to hand make gifts for her family and they would look at her like she had given them a lump of coal in their stocking. I love this holiday but too many times have seen the fight over the last tickle me elmo or whatever the hot toy is that season. Coming from working retail basically since I could work I have seen the best and worst of people this time of year. It is really sad that it's only a season where you're supposed to spread kindness and generosity, and half the time most people miss the point all together.
First let me start saying that I love Christmas and the meaning behind it. It's just nowadays I can't help but be disgusted by people's behavior during the holidays! I have been run into, harassed by mall employees, and have even seen two people get out of their cars to ARGUE over a PARKING SPACE!!!!! All that I can kinda ignore and still try to teach my children better manners. The biggest problem I have had every year since being a military spouse is our battalions Christmas party. Let me explain. I volunteer with the battalion as a Family Readiness Assistant therefore I am involved in the planning of this party every year. The other volunteers and I spend time decorating, arranging for a Santa, and coordinating with a charity ( Words of Comfort, Hope, and Promise ran by Ms. Cynthia Martinez who is wonderful by the way!!) who has adopted our battalion. Usually the charity provides us with gifts for the Marines and there families and a dinner. Sometimes since they do sponsor other units they can only provide toys for the kids. This is no problem for most people, but this is where my irritation comes in. Every year while eating amongst the families of the battalion( most who don't know that I am a volunteer) I hear complaints about the gifts they got. On top of the complaints about the gifts not being good enough, my kids get trampled and shoved out of the way to get to the gifts people deem as cheap. Furthermore while eating the meal provided for us for free my family and I get to listen to the charming conversations ( I am being sarcastic here) of the single Marines. The whole experience is just very frustrating. Why can't people just appreciate the things given to them? Why do they have such a sense of entitlement? Why don't they know how to behave in public? I am thankful that the battalion my husband is in cares enough about the families to even throw a Christmas party!! Let alone provide food a Santa and gifts for my children all for free!!! Apparently this is not good enough for some people though. It makes me sad that very few people are actually happy that they were thought of. There doesn't have to be an organization that provides gifts to us. These volunteers are providing us with these things because they truly are thankful for what the military does not because they are obligated too. Its is sickening to me that so many people are unappreciative. In this world we live in where so many people are down on the military it is heartwarming when people actually go out of their way to help us. Cynthia Martinez is not a military spouse. Neither are many of the people that volunteer with her organization. They are just thankful of the service our loved ones provide. So if they give me anything even just a simple thank you it warms my heart. They don't have to. I may not go to the Christmas party this year. It gets harder every year to hold my tongue around ungrateful people. The only reason I will go is because there are always people every year who actually do appreciate the things given to them.
Jamie:
This season really is one of those that makes you question what peoples real intentions are. For the most part what I see is people trying to keep up with the "Jones'". It's a bit ridiculous that it is expected to spend a obscene amount of money on gifts for people that you hardly ever see and half the time either don't appreciate it or like it. My mother in-law has stopped doing Christmas because she used to hand make gifts for her family and they would look at her like she had given them a lump of coal in their stocking. I love this holiday but too many times have seen the fight over the last tickle me elmo or whatever the hot toy is that season. Coming from working retail basically since I could work I have seen the best and worst of people this time of year. It is really sad that it's only a season where you're supposed to spread kindness and generosity, and half the time most people miss the point all together.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Sorry just haven't had the time!
Jenn:
I know not many people read our blog and if they do they don't wait with bated breath for us to post an entry. But I would like to apologize for the lack of timely posts. The reason is simple we were being moms and had lots of stuff going on. My daughter is sick, and has a birthday coming up. The holidays. My house never being clean enough. My sister getting married and staying with me until her house is ready. My husband playing too many video games. All reasons I haven't had time to blog. Kinda makes me think. Sometimes as a housewife I am bored. Mind numbingly bored. Then I have a ton of stuff to do and don't have enough time in my day!!! It's like HOLY SHIT BATMAN!!! Why is everything happening at once!!!! Hopefully I will be bored again soon. Maybe. P.S. Having a sick baby sucks. Especially when you have tons of stuff to do. I am hardly ever sick so I get pretty irritated when others are. Even my kids. I am not very nurturing in that way. I think I even told my 11 month old to suck it up. I should work on my bedside manner.
Jamie:
Ok the last few weeks have been chaotic. My oldest son got sick which he so kindly shared with his brother, sister and me. It's funny I never get over how hard it is to be sick when you have sick kids. Thank God for my husband, I was able to get a little sleep last weekend and recover enough to get throug the week. For some reason this last week has been especially horrible. My kids still aren't feeling well so they have been whining and throwing fits, my eldest is going through a phase of being glued to my hip and doesn't stop talking and I'm still not feeling 100%. Not to mention I'm dying for some time with adults and away from the house. I'm going bonkers!!! It's a real relief to have a moment to blog, I still need to go get in the shower which I haven't been able to do in 2 days. I feel at times like I'm running in circles and don't get anything done. It's absolutly frusterating!! Well thank you for letting me vent. Hopefully next time it wont be so long between blogs.
I know not many people read our blog and if they do they don't wait with bated breath for us to post an entry. But I would like to apologize for the lack of timely posts. The reason is simple we were being moms and had lots of stuff going on. My daughter is sick, and has a birthday coming up. The holidays. My house never being clean enough. My sister getting married and staying with me until her house is ready. My husband playing too many video games. All reasons I haven't had time to blog. Kinda makes me think. Sometimes as a housewife I am bored. Mind numbingly bored. Then I have a ton of stuff to do and don't have enough time in my day!!! It's like HOLY SHIT BATMAN!!! Why is everything happening at once!!!! Hopefully I will be bored again soon. Maybe. P.S. Having a sick baby sucks. Especially when you have tons of stuff to do. I am hardly ever sick so I get pretty irritated when others are. Even my kids. I am not very nurturing in that way. I think I even told my 11 month old to suck it up. I should work on my bedside manner.
Jamie:
Ok the last few weeks have been chaotic. My oldest son got sick which he so kindly shared with his brother, sister and me. It's funny I never get over how hard it is to be sick when you have sick kids. Thank God for my husband, I was able to get a little sleep last weekend and recover enough to get throug the week. For some reason this last week has been especially horrible. My kids still aren't feeling well so they have been whining and throwing fits, my eldest is going through a phase of being glued to my hip and doesn't stop talking and I'm still not feeling 100%. Not to mention I'm dying for some time with adults and away from the house. I'm going bonkers!!! It's a real relief to have a moment to blog, I still need to go get in the shower which I haven't been able to do in 2 days. I feel at times like I'm running in circles and don't get anything done. It's absolutly frusterating!! Well thank you for letting me vent. Hopefully next time it wont be so long between blogs.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Our First Borns!
Jenn:
Well now that this blog thing seems to be sticking I thought it was appropriate to better introduce our various children. Starting with our eldest. This is my son Gabriel, he is 9. I have 2 children, both of whom I love fiercely. I have heard parents of multiple children say they love them all the same. Honestly I don't understand how. Each of my children represent a different part of my life so while I love them both immensely I love them differently. Gabriel was conceived and born in an extremely tumult time in my life. My mother and I had had a falling out. I was required to leave her home and find one of my own. I didn't graduate high school. So here I was lonely and seemingly with no future. So I decided to date a person who was completely wrong for me, just because he was kind to me. I had never really had a boy friend so I fell hard for this guy. Before you know it i was pregnant at the tender age of 18. Everyone who knew me was disappointed. I however was excited! I was going to have a baby! Even though it wasn't a well thought out plan. The pregnancy was what I wanted. I would have a beautiful little baby who would love me no matter what! At this time in my life love was desperately what I needed. My supposed "boyfriend" didn't really love me. I felt my family, who I know now will always love me, were too disappointed in how my life was going to love me. I didn't really have any one else. People have called my son a mistake or accident of which I take high offense too. He is neither. I knew exactly what I was doing. I had been taught that unprotected sex could cause pregnancy. Gabriel has always been wanted. At the time I didn't exactly know what I was doing, but I always wanted him. He is my savior. He saved me from myself. Without my son who knows where or who I would be. He made me responsible. I went back and graduated high school. I got a better job. I made effort to mend my relationship with my mother. Everything I have good in life I have because of him. I met my husband because of him. My life has been constantly enriched by him. He is a goofy, precious child. He loves to build his legos,play video games and watch tv. Everyday that I get to wake up and see his goofy smile and big beautiful green eyes I am a very lucky mommy!
Jamie:
So sorry for the hold up Jenn. She's had her part of the blog ready for two days now and I'm barely getting a moment to where I can sit down and collect my thoughts long enough to write. HAHA!
So let me see... My wonderful son Colin
When I had Colin I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I had absolutely no idea the impact this little man would bring to my world. I was young and naive, not realizing what a full time job this would be thinking it'd be easier than getting up and going to work everyday. Boy was I wrong! So when I was about 4 months pregnant my husband deployed to Iraq, leaving me with the thought of not only having to go through the labor and delivery without him but raising him on my own for the first two months by myself. I do have to say that was not easy but it did make me realize that I'm a lot stronger than I ever imagined I could be. Colin has changed my world so much and shown me what a wonderful person I am too. Through him I see the world differently. It's really refreshing to have children, it shows you what really is important in life. I do love all three of my children equally but differently. Colin is absolutely amazing and smart, he makes me laugh at the things he says and does. Everyday with him is a new adventure and it never gets old (except for the attitude and whining). Ha ha ha. He is so energetic and full of life, he loves to dance and read books. Go to the park or walk on the pier and look at the boats, surfers, and dolphins. He lights up my world with one smile, and I can't say that I would know real love without Colin. He was all I had while his dad was away and I still feel that strong bond with him now. My only hope for Colin is that he grows up to be everything he could ever want to be. I love you Colin!
Sunday, October 24, 2010
I don't know where it is!!!
Jenn:
"Mom where's my shoes?" "Mom I can't find my toy" "Mom where's my backpack?" Sound familiar? Why do our kids expect us to know the exact location of everything they have ever touched?! I usually have something smart to say like " I don't know I put it back when I used it" or "Maybe if you put it wear it belonged you would find it!" These obviously mean nothing to him considering this war has been going on for about 6 years. Why does this happen? Why hasn't my 9 year old figured out that I am not lo-jack for his stuff? It's so annoying! Everyday he has misplaced something else! Not only does HE lose it he expects ME to find it!! I mean really what does he think happens? I sneak in and hide his stuff from him? Aliens come in and use lasers to move his things while he is sleeping!! Hopefully one day he will figure that he is responsible for his things. Not me!!
Jamie:
It's funny because my three year old has started demanding that if he can't find something that I go find it for him. He'll say "you find it mom!", and I tell him that I don't have to find it and if he wants to play with it then he will have to go and look for it himself. I can't believe that it starts at such a young age, and apparently never ends. My brother who is now 30 still does it to my mom and gets extremely upset and blames everyone else for his misplaced item. It's absolutly ridiculous!! I don't know if it's a guy thing or what? I don't ask my husband to find something that I lost, I simply ask him if he's seen what I'm looking for and if he hasn't I try to think of the last place I had it. Is it really that hard to keep track of our own stuff? I mean really!
"Mom where's my shoes?" "Mom I can't find my toy" "Mom where's my backpack?" Sound familiar? Why do our kids expect us to know the exact location of everything they have ever touched?! I usually have something smart to say like " I don't know I put it back when I used it" or "Maybe if you put it wear it belonged you would find it!" These obviously mean nothing to him considering this war has been going on for about 6 years. Why does this happen? Why hasn't my 9 year old figured out that I am not lo-jack for his stuff? It's so annoying! Everyday he has misplaced something else! Not only does HE lose it he expects ME to find it!! I mean really what does he think happens? I sneak in and hide his stuff from him? Aliens come in and use lasers to move his things while he is sleeping!! Hopefully one day he will figure that he is responsible for his things. Not me!!
Jamie:
It's funny because my three year old has started demanding that if he can't find something that I go find it for him. He'll say "you find it mom!", and I tell him that I don't have to find it and if he wants to play with it then he will have to go and look for it himself. I can't believe that it starts at such a young age, and apparently never ends. My brother who is now 30 still does it to my mom and gets extremely upset and blames everyone else for his misplaced item. It's absolutly ridiculous!! I don't know if it's a guy thing or what? I don't ask my husband to find something that I lost, I simply ask him if he's seen what I'm looking for and if he hasn't I try to think of the last place I had it. Is it really that hard to keep track of our own stuff? I mean really!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Why do we always hurt the ones we love?
Jenn:
I think everyone has had a moment like this your frustrated,angry and your child says something to you. Anything, and you snap. You yell SHUT UP or LEAVE ME ALONE! Taking your frustration out on your innocent child. Why? Why do we do this? I have done this on more occasions then I would like to admit. I love my children more then I can say. But when I am angry they are the perfect little targets. They won't yell back. They offer no threat to me, and will still love me. Even after I have screamed at them. I feel awful after yelling at them. To my benefit, I have gotten a lot better at directing my anger at the correct person. Still sometimes I lose my patience too quickly. It's still a work in progress though.
Jamie:
So the other day I was having a dissagreement with my husband and was extremely irritated. Well, I was getting the kids up from their nap and trying to feed them. Needless to say they were fussing and my three year old comes up to me to ask for something and I lost it on him. I screamed "SHUT UP AND GO AWAY!" My husband asked me what was wrong with me and I snapped out of it. How could I just snap like that, on my little boy who wasn't doing anything wrong. I felt horrible like I wanted to slap myself. So I apologized to him and explained that he did nothing wrong it's just mommy was upset and took it out on him. I have since taken a deeper look inside myself and realized that if I just take the time to breathe a few deep breaths right when I'm at my breaking point, I can control my sudden outbursts. It's really hard for me to control my emotions and that is something I really need to work on. It's so hard to admit that kids are an easy target and too often they are used as the outlet. It's a horrible thing to think about. I know I'm guilty of it and its sad because in the end they will love me and give me a hug. Why is it that the one you should take it out on you don't? There's the saying that we always hurt the ones we love, and I really don't understand why.
Jamie:
So the other day I was having a dissagreement with my husband and was extremely irritated. Well, I was getting the kids up from their nap and trying to feed them. Needless to say they were fussing and my three year old comes up to me to ask for something and I lost it on him. I screamed "SHUT UP AND GO AWAY!" My husband asked me what was wrong with me and I snapped out of it. How could I just snap like that, on my little boy who wasn't doing anything wrong. I felt horrible like I wanted to slap myself. So I apologized to him and explained that he did nothing wrong it's just mommy was upset and took it out on him. I have since taken a deeper look inside myself and realized that if I just take the time to breathe a few deep breaths right when I'm at my breaking point, I can control my sudden outbursts. It's really hard for me to control my emotions and that is something I really need to work on. It's so hard to admit that kids are an easy target and too often they are used as the outlet. It's a horrible thing to think about. I know I'm guilty of it and its sad because in the end they will love me and give me a hug. Why is it that the one you should take it out on you don't? There's the saying that we always hurt the ones we love, and I really don't understand why.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
I love you child, but please shut up!
Jenn:
I must start this by saying my mom is going too laugh her ass off! Because I was a talker too (still am actually!) and she would say things like" God only gave you a certain amount of words and you are going to use them all by the time you are 25"!!! So when I had my adorable son and would look at him lovingly saying "I can't wait until he can talk". My mom would laugh, I never really understood why until now! My son will not,or can not stop talking! He will continue on and on about anything until I feel i might go crazy! Don't get me wrong I usually ask him to please be quite or to hush. But in the case of my son, who probably even talks in his sleep, I usually have to pull out the SHUT UP!!! Which I really don't like to say to him because no one likes to be mean to their baby. What other options do I have? I am repetedly polite and still he continues to chatter. Now I know why my mom was so cranky when she didn't get her alone time. We all need that time to think or to just hear the voices in our own heads! Just hold out for nap time or bed times mommas! It will be all right!!!!
Jamie:
So my three year old just started talking quite a lot these past few months. There are times when he says the most adorable or hillarious things. But I do have to say that it is very frusturating when I'm trying to get a few moments to myself and he just won't leave me alone. Like now for instance, I've been trying to write this blog for two days now and he's sitting practically on my lap talking to me about his airplanes. It's understandable that I am his buddy and best friend, but gosh kid please give me a minute. Also another time in the morning when I'm first waking up haven't had a chance to even get a sip of coffee and it starts mom, momma, mommy, MMMOOOOMMM!!!! WHAT!?! What do you need!? It just seems at times that it's never ending My twins are just starting to talk and oh my goodness it's cute! How mother nature really has us fooled. Here I am trying not to yell at my three year old but oohing and ahhhing at the little ones for saying toes or other such things. Ha! It's all an evil trick.
I must start this by saying my mom is going too laugh her ass off! Because I was a talker too (still am actually!) and she would say things like" God only gave you a certain amount of words and you are going to use them all by the time you are 25"!!! So when I had my adorable son and would look at him lovingly saying "I can't wait until he can talk". My mom would laugh, I never really understood why until now! My son will not,or can not stop talking! He will continue on and on about anything until I feel i might go crazy! Don't get me wrong I usually ask him to please be quite or to hush. But in the case of my son, who probably even talks in his sleep, I usually have to pull out the SHUT UP!!! Which I really don't like to say to him because no one likes to be mean to their baby. What other options do I have? I am repetedly polite and still he continues to chatter. Now I know why my mom was so cranky when she didn't get her alone time. We all need that time to think or to just hear the voices in our own heads! Just hold out for nap time or bed times mommas! It will be all right!!!!
Jamie:
So my three year old just started talking quite a lot these past few months. There are times when he says the most adorable or hillarious things. But I do have to say that it is very frusturating when I'm trying to get a few moments to myself and he just won't leave me alone. Like now for instance, I've been trying to write this blog for two days now and he's sitting practically on my lap talking to me about his airplanes. It's understandable that I am his buddy and best friend, but gosh kid please give me a minute. Also another time in the morning when I'm first waking up haven't had a chance to even get a sip of coffee and it starts mom, momma, mommy, MMMOOOOMMM!!!! WHAT!?! What do you need!? It just seems at times that it's never ending My twins are just starting to talk and oh my goodness it's cute! How mother nature really has us fooled. Here I am trying not to yell at my three year old but oohing and ahhhing at the little ones for saying toes or other such things. Ha! It's all an evil trick.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Where is the village?
Jenn:
So we ended our last blog questioning the supposed comradery between mothers. I thought about this subject a lot this past week. Why aren't we there for each other more? As mothers we all have our trials and rather then go through them together too many times we are alone. Why is this? Too many times I have felt judged by other mothers as not being up to par, leading me to to believe that we are no longer in this together. It's every mother for herself!! I find it sad that it has to be this way. Well I guess it doesn't have to, we could all suddenly stop judging each other and just be there to lend a helping hand. However I don't believe this is going to happen. In the past(the world of our grandparents!) people would willing help others. Now not just in motherhood, but in all aspects of life we are alone. Too afraid to ask for help for fear that we will be seen as weak, or incapable. What happened to the village? Why is it that we are so afraid to ask for help?
Jamie:
Anwsering Jenn's last question, for me, I'm afraid of being judged for not being able to handle what has been thrown my way. I think that we are raised to feel like we can do it all no matter how impossible it may be. If we can't we're scrutinized unfavorably among our peers. It's sad really that it is this way, really we should be feeling like it's ok to admit when we need help and to ask for it. There has to be some way to change this, to bring back the feeling of community. I think a way to start would be the next time you're out in public instead of judging someone who has a screaming child and asking why they don't shut their kid up, try to be understanding that it's not always as simple as that. It's no easy feat being a mother and we really need to be more sympathetic towards each other instead of comparing ourselves and our children. No two people are alike just like snowflakes, so let's embrace our differences and stop judging each other.
Friday, September 24, 2010
You don't get any sick days when you're a mom.....
Jenn:
So earlier this week I went to go pick Gabriel up from school because he had a doctors appointment, while walking back to the car I rolled my ankle and fell to the ground. After the shock of the pain, getting Gabriel to pick Kat up,and picking myself up I hobbled to my car. I then preceded to take Gabriel to the doctor the whole way being extremely angry at my throbbing ankle and happy that I had driven my truck, not the car which is a stick shift! See I was angry because I simply do not have time to be sidelined! After rolling my ankle I still had to go to Gabriel's appointment, the grocery store, and a meeting. Really how am I supposed to elevate my foot as much as possible to prevent swelling when I barely have a chance to sit somedays!!! Well my foot feels better now but this experience has made me realize that I don't have time to be sick or injured! Kids can't take care of themselves and sometimes that really sucks. Also your house won't clean itself, dinner doesn't magically appear,and laundry doesn't do itself! Sometimes it is nice to be needed that much but when my foot hurts and i can't walk it would be nice if I had a time out card!
Jamie
A few weeks ago I came down with this horrible sinus infection which created these horrible headaches that were sensitive to light. So needless to say I could barely do anything around the house let alone take care of the kids. Luckily they were pretty well behaved which made it a little easier for me. So one day after having this horrible head pounding for 6 days I called my husband to come home from work to help me with the kids which he refused. At that point I thought to myself that it would be nice to have a nanny at times like this. Luckily the doctor was able to fix the problem, but I do have to say that when you are sick with small children it's near impossible to function. Looking back I should have enlisted the help of my friends and neighbors, which all the books tell you to do. That in itself is really hard for me to do because I like to feel like I should be superwoman able to handle any situation thrown at me. That is something that I really need to fix about myself and admit when I need help and to not feel incompetent for admitting that I can not do it all, all the time!
After rereading our posts I thought of the old saying "it takes a village to raise a child" . Well were is our village? Why is it that too many times we are alone to face our trials and test by ourselves, too afraid to admit trouble until the problem has been resolved? Maybe these questions shall be addressed in another blog as we have 4 fussy children ready for naps!
So earlier this week I went to go pick Gabriel up from school because he had a doctors appointment, while walking back to the car I rolled my ankle and fell to the ground. After the shock of the pain, getting Gabriel to pick Kat up,and picking myself up I hobbled to my car. I then preceded to take Gabriel to the doctor the whole way being extremely angry at my throbbing ankle and happy that I had driven my truck, not the car which is a stick shift! See I was angry because I simply do not have time to be sidelined! After rolling my ankle I still had to go to Gabriel's appointment, the grocery store, and a meeting. Really how am I supposed to elevate my foot as much as possible to prevent swelling when I barely have a chance to sit somedays!!! Well my foot feels better now but this experience has made me realize that I don't have time to be sick or injured! Kids can't take care of themselves and sometimes that really sucks. Also your house won't clean itself, dinner doesn't magically appear,and laundry doesn't do itself! Sometimes it is nice to be needed that much but when my foot hurts and i can't walk it would be nice if I had a time out card!
Jamie
A few weeks ago I came down with this horrible sinus infection which created these horrible headaches that were sensitive to light. So needless to say I could barely do anything around the house let alone take care of the kids. Luckily they were pretty well behaved which made it a little easier for me. So one day after having this horrible head pounding for 6 days I called my husband to come home from work to help me with the kids which he refused. At that point I thought to myself that it would be nice to have a nanny at times like this. Luckily the doctor was able to fix the problem, but I do have to say that when you are sick with small children it's near impossible to function. Looking back I should have enlisted the help of my friends and neighbors, which all the books tell you to do. That in itself is really hard for me to do because I like to feel like I should be superwoman able to handle any situation thrown at me. That is something that I really need to fix about myself and admit when I need help and to not feel incompetent for admitting that I can not do it all, all the time!
After rereading our posts I thought of the old saying "it takes a village to raise a child" . Well were is our village? Why is it that too many times we are alone to face our trials and test by ourselves, too afraid to admit trouble until the problem has been resolved? Maybe these questions shall be addressed in another blog as we have 4 fussy children ready for naps!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Introductions
Hello! First of all let me say we are horrible procrastinaters which is why we signed up in August and we finally started writing in mid-September! Well my name is Jenn and i will be co-authoring this blog with my friend Jamie, who I will be telling you about in a few minutes. I am 28 and I am a stay at home mom. I have two children, one is Gabriel a 9 year old boy and the other is Katherine a soon to be 9 month old girl. We live aboard Camp Pendleton with Garrett my husband of 6 years. Now I shall pass it on to Jamie so she can tell you a little about herself and family.
Hello! My name is Jamie a stay at home mother of three. I live on Camp Pendelton with my husband of 4 years. My kids names are Colin a 3 year old energetic boy and Andrew and Chloe 18 month old twins which by the way came completely by suprise. I hope that this blog can help some of you other mothers out there who feel at times that they're going crazy, or don't feel like they are being "super mom". Nice to meet you all!
I (Jenn) thought to start this blog because of Jamie actually who would call at varying times of the day wondering why her son couldn't count to 10 yet? or was it normal for her daughter to be throwing such horrible temper tantrums? and other various dilemmas. So I talked to her about starting this blog so that we would have a place to kinda vent our issues, and other mothers would know that they weren't alone. So here it is hope you enjoy our laughter, tears, crazyiness, pain,and frustration at figuring this whole kid thing out!
Hello! My name is Jamie a stay at home mother of three. I live on Camp Pendelton with my husband of 4 years. My kids names are Colin a 3 year old energetic boy and Andrew and Chloe 18 month old twins which by the way came completely by suprise. I hope that this blog can help some of you other mothers out there who feel at times that they're going crazy, or don't feel like they are being "super mom". Nice to meet you all!
I (Jenn) thought to start this blog because of Jamie actually who would call at varying times of the day wondering why her son couldn't count to 10 yet? or was it normal for her daughter to be throwing such horrible temper tantrums? and other various dilemmas. So I talked to her about starting this blog so that we would have a place to kinda vent our issues, and other mothers would know that they weren't alone. So here it is hope you enjoy our laughter, tears, crazyiness, pain,and frustration at figuring this whole kid thing out!
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