Why?

Jenn:


  Jamie and I were having a conversation today about my daughters year old check-up. I was asking her if it was normal that Kat hasn't said her first word yet. I was concerned because at her appointment her doctor had given me a pamphlet with information on where she should be developmentally. According to said pamphlet Kat should be saying 3 words other then mama or dada at this age. She doesn't. She rarely says mama, usually saves it for when shes upset. Hardly ever says dada. She babbles a lot makes lots of noise, yells. But doesn't really talk. So now of course I am concerned because maybe something is wrong! Do I not talk to her enough? Is there more we could be doing to encourage speech? Well I talk to her all the time,and try to get her to repeat me. She has talking toys and I read to her. For all intents and purposes she should be hearing enough words to carry on full conversations by now!! I think the more important question should be: Why am I worried so much because of a piece of paper? Also why does her doctor not address my concerns? Instead the doctor usually gives me more to worry about!! Example: during the appointment she asked if we had given Kat milk yet. I said yes we had given her some 1% because that was what was in the house. My doctor looked at me like I was trying to hurt my child and told me to give her formula until I got some whole milk for her. I was taken aback by this reaction because correct me if I am wrong, but aren't they the same with the exception of fat content? Now I know she's a growing girl and needs the extra fat. But I really didn't think a week of 1% was that detrimental to her development. Who knows maybe that's why she isn't talking yet!!!!! After discussing all this Jamie and I realized that all these pressures doctors and society put on parents is the reason we started this blog. The last baby I had before Kat was 9 years ago. So while I am not new to motherhood I can tell you it's A LOT different now then it was back then! The pressure new mothers or just parents in general are under is ridiculous nowadays. It's no wonder so many parents are stressed out! With the news,doctors,friends,family,the Internet,and pamphlets telling us we are raising our kids wrong we have no choice! It honestly makes me wonder how the human race survived this long. I mean how did our ancestors over come drinking unpasturized cow milk if my baby can't even drink 1%?  How have we gone from eating mud pies to practically dosing everything in Lysol? I understand that as humans we are constantly evolving, but I think maybe we need to relax some. I am sure our children not talking right when they hit a year or drinking 1%  milk won't be the end of the world!

Jamie:

It really get to me how much pressure is put on us as parents that our children have to fit this "standard" that society has deemed "normal", and if we waver a little then we feel inadequate.   It's really frusterating.  I have been running into a lot of problems with the head start program.  They interfere way too much and sometimes I question whether or not I want to keep the twins in the program.  Last week I was supposed to have a home visit where the kids teacher comes and we have a lesson plan sort of.  Well she called and told me she wasn't able to come due to the fact that Chloe's last hemo level read too low.  So I had to take her to get her blood drawn, which I had done 6 months ago I just forgot to call and get the results.  I think it's overstepping to have me take my 18 month old at the time to have her blood drawn when her hemo levels were .5 under the norm. 
  There have been times when I have questioned whether or not my child was in fact up to "normal" standards, so much so that I have taken Colin to be evaluated for speech twice!  And both times I was told he was doing just fine, but according to reading material I get from the dr. he isn't where he should be! It's just tiring.  I think we should let kids develop at there own stage and take the pressure off of how well he's counting or if she's getting the right kind of milk.  Kids need to be kids, it's no wonder we end up feeling like we're never good enough.  It's engraned in us at an early age.  All I know is I do the best that I can as a parent, and my kids are all unique and will develop on Their own schedule and time.