The Easy Way Out?

Jenn:

     As a parent we have many choices to make regarding our children. How they will be raised,what to feed them, schools they will go to, and the list goes on. Of the choices we make some of the hardest are the ones that test our patience. Kids test us nearly everyday, wanting candy instead of food, wanting to play video games instead of pick up after themselves, the list could go on forever. Basically we want them to do one thing and they have their own ideas! The problem with this is we have to choose all the time whether we are going to be the parent that never lets them get away with anything, or the parent that gives in all the time. All to often due to begging, whining, asking repeatedly, and crying we give in. As a parent myself I can tell you I have given in a lot! Mostly with my son and most of the time just so I can have some piece and quite. With my daughter I have been different I have tried so far to not give in as much. It is a mistake (well maybe not a mistake depending on your views) that most parents make. Taking the easy way out. Giving in when we should hold our ground. Sometimes it's okay, but most of the time from my experience when we give in it just teaches our children how to push our buttons. Trust me they learn quickly and they can sense weakness! After they learn how to get what they want it gets even harder to stick to your guns. They pour it on thick and before you know it they have gotten what they want. I guess the point that I am trying to make is even when your children are babies it's important to hold your ground. From a young age they should know your stance so that when they get my son's age you don't have an even bigger problem. I don't think there is an easy way out. Once they learn what buttons to push the momentary silence a Popsicle gives you will not be worth it.

Jamie:

  This is a great topic for me right now.  My husband recently has left for the field doing pre-deployment training.  It seems that since he left my children have gotten significantly more cranky and test my patience  more so then they have in the past.  Last week my cell phone stopped working, so I decided to take a trip to the store to see what was wrong with it and had to drop it off for an hour while they worked on the problem.  While I was there, Colin was running around the store like a mad man and I ended up putting him in timeout in the corner of their store. I got some pretty horrible looks, which I don't really care about because I'd rather stop horrible behavior than condone it.  Anyway, when we were leaving Colin started whining and bellyaching for a hamburger and juice.  I knew that he was hungry it was lunch time and I told him sure you can have a hamburger but no juice until you get home.  I say that because if I give him something to drink he won't eat his food.  So I stopped and picked up all the kids a burger.  When I got home and was unloading everybody I noticed that the burger that was such a huge deal was completely untouched.  Colin of course wanted juice when he got home, but I explained that he could not have juice until he ate the burger.  He decided to take a nap. OK, so I said he would have the burger for dinner.  Dinner comes does he eat the burger, NO, he went to bed without dinner or juice.  Then next day I fed him breakfast, at lunch time I told him that he had to eat the burger or no juice.  Needless to say he didn't eat it.  He never did, but I stuck to my guns and kept trying.  I just don't want to feed him a burger that in my opinion was bad after 2 days of this horrible battle.  But my lesson out of this is I will not give in to crying in public or at home.  If I give him something to eat he needs to eat it or he does not reap the benefits of something sweet like juice.  I do agree with Jenn, giving in is really not the best thing to do.  I am guilty of it more often than not and am really working on it, especially now that I am getting ready to be a single parent for 7 months.  I don't want my children to think that if they press me enough that eventually I will give in.  It is really frustrating and at times it is really tempting just to shut them up and give in, but that is showing them that they can wear me down.  I don't know how I'm going to do it yet and can't guarantee that I'll be 100% successful, but I'm going to do my best.  I'll do an update in a few months and let you all know my progress if I've gotten any better or not.  But for now wish me luck.