Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Alone

Jennifer:

        So starting off I just wanna say that the reason we haven't written in awhile is because of some big changes in both of our lives. My family and I recently had to move from California to Florida because my husband got new orders. I will allow Jamie to explain her family changes if she so chooses. So because we moved obviosly Jamie and I no longer live in the same state! I miss my friend dearly but now that things have settled would like to continue to blog.

         The topic this time is single parenting. I know that I am married therefore not a single parent in the traditional sense, but this new duty station will require me to be parenting alone most of the time. My husband now has many new responsibilities and will not be home very often. I have mixed feelings about the upcoming challanges I will surely have to face.

           The biggest challenge I am sure will be finding time for myself. As a stay at home mom I barely get time for myself anyways. Having the kids all day and then giving my husband time to decompress when he comes home leaves little to no time for me as it is. So what will I do when he doesn't even come home? On top of that I am used to my hubby doing things around the house to help me. Who will distract my daughter so that I can prepare dinner? Who is gonna help my son with his homework while I finish the laundry?

             Another thing I think I am gonna have a HUGE problem with is a case of the it's not fairs!! I am gonna try to prevent it but it's kinda hard not to feel some resentment when you are married and still have to be a single parent!! I know, I know I choose to be a military spouse and I love it most of the time. It's just kinda hard to be thrilled about it when your baby won't stop crying and your other kid won't stop talking. Your just sitting there numbly thinking if my husband does not walk through that door RIGHT NOW and help me I think I am going to lose my mind!! Other times it's not so bad. I can do things how I want to on my schedule and not have to worry about any complaints. These are just a few things that I have discoevered to be a problem so far. I am sure I will run into more!

              Long ago and far away I actually was a single parent to my son. It was a lot easier then. I have grow accustomed to having my husband around. It is taking awhile for me to get accustomed to this new life. Add on top of that the lack of family and friends here and it just makes things harder. I hope that I don't go completely insane in the next three years!! Hopefully the next duty station will be a little easier.
             
Jamie:
  Ok so where to begin... well it's been quite a while since Ive even had a moment long enough to sit down let alone blog.  The past 6 months have been completely life changing for me.  My husband I have been going through a really rough patch in our marriage, and I really mean rough. I'm not going to get into particulars on that subject all you need to know is he has been absent in mine and my kids life for the last 6 months.  So on that note I have assumed the role of being a single mom, all but the financial aspect.  I will say that I had no idea what it was like for single moms and still to a degree don't because I don't work and have to solely support my children on my own. 
  It's hard having to take care of the kids all day and know that there is no relief coming at the end of the day.  There have been times that ive broken down and cried only to have my oldest son say mommy don't cry.  It really tears me up inside when I really think about what they must be going through.  Ive lost my patience with them on numerous occasions over really nothing just needing a moment of silence and not being able to get it.  It makes me wonder why before I  didn't think that going to the grocery store alone was a break.  Now it's a miracle if I can find someone willing to watch my kids so I can go to the dentist.  I have a whole new outlook on time alone and how to really enjoy it.  I will say this that through it all I feel like Ive grown as a person so much and have found a person I never knew I could be.  I no longer shutter at the thought of taking the kids out alone even when you have a mishap and end up in the emergency room.  Yes that did happen!  I decided to take the kids to go feed the ducks, Chloe fell in the lake I ran to get her slipped and fell on my arm.  I thought for sure I had broken it.  It was swollen and hurt like a bitch.  Finally I managed to drag myself and my daughter out of the lake and my oldest goes in. What fun.  So again I'm fishing a child out of the lake.  We get up safely away from the water and at this point is when the pain and realization that I'm alone with three kids at a lake sets in.  Holy Shit what am I going to do right?!  So Jenn to the rescue, I call her and she comes drives me to the hospital.  Luckily it didn't break it's was just hyper extended.  Lesson to self never take your children to a lake alone!! I am glad for all the lessons I have learned through this time in my life and to all you single moms out there my hat goes off to you.



 

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