Jenn:
So we ended our last blog questioning the supposed comradery between mothers. I thought about this subject a lot this past week. Why aren't we there for each other more? As mothers we all have our trials and rather then go through them together too many times we are alone. Why is this? Too many times I have felt judged by other mothers as not being up to par, leading me to to believe that we are no longer in this together. It's every mother for herself!! I find it sad that it has to be this way. Well I guess it doesn't have to, we could all suddenly stop judging each other and just be there to lend a helping hand. However I don't believe this is going to happen. In the past(the world of our grandparents!) people would willing help others. Now not just in motherhood, but in all aspects of life we are alone. Too afraid to ask for help for fear that we will be seen as weak, or incapable. What happened to the village? Why is it that we are so afraid to ask for help?
Jamie:
Anwsering Jenn's last question, for me, I'm afraid of being judged for not being able to handle what has been thrown my way. I think that we are raised to feel like we can do it all no matter how impossible it may be. If we can't we're scrutinized unfavorably among our peers. It's sad really that it is this way, really we should be feeling like it's ok to admit when we need help and to ask for it. There has to be some way to change this, to bring back the feeling of community. I think a way to start would be the next time you're out in public instead of judging someone who has a screaming child and asking why they don't shut their kid up, try to be understanding that it's not always as simple as that. It's no easy feat being a mother and we really need to be more sympathetic towards each other instead of comparing ourselves and our children. No two people are alike just like snowflakes, so let's embrace our differences and stop judging each other.
This comment is from my mom who is unable to access blogger because she is in china so she asked me to share her thoughts
ReplyDeleteWomen judge each other on the size of their waistline, the clothes they wear, the man they're with, the home they've created, the life they've built, the choices they've made and how those choices have been handled. I think women are hard-wired to be judgmental. How does that stack up against what we are taught - to be forgiving and tolerant, and how does that stack up against the males of our species?
Men tend to if not actively forgive, at least overlook their peers' shortcomings. They tend to be more supportive and sympathetic than women. Men, the supposed more competitive of the genders, are the more tolerant. They may actively use a peer's weakness against him in the boardroom or professional arena, but never in a friendship. And, men do not exhibit the cattiness of women, the supposed nurturers.
Isn't that an interesting social statement?